God of all comfort
God of all grace
We have come to seek You
We have come to seek Your face.

~ John Wimber

Spring 1984, Framingham, Massachusetts, Vineyard Christian Fellowship

Comfort settled over me like an old flannel quilt. The Jesus Movement had mellowed with age, and its soothing melodies were like an anesthetic on my ecclesiastical wounds. Kenn Gulliksen's soft eyes and warm smile surveyed his devoted followers, tilling their hearts for the seeds of introspection he would sow. Newcomers on the scene, my wife and I waited in eager expectation of heavenly words from this legendary teacher.

The first portion was rather strange fare. We heard that all of our wrong ways, our deep insecurities, and our emotional wounds were inflicted upon us by our parents, siblings, and other close relations. We're all victims of neglect, abuse, and injustice, and need deep inner healing. Jesus wants to journey back with us to revisit each painful memory, visualize it, and let him heal it, helping us to forgive each one who hurt us. Ahhh… how soothing! So that was my problem. I'm just a helpless victim. It's really not my fault. Let's see… where can I place the blame?

From week to week the menu never changed and the seductive savor of that sentimental sauté gave way to its bitter aftertaste. Introspection is a suicide journey and we were in the dining car, watching our past go by, increasingly sensing that we didn't want to go where this train was taking us. We got off at the next stop, disoriented, disillusioned, waiting for the next train in some other direction.

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