My desperate cry for help began as a whisper, slipping spontaneously from my lips. Late at night, alone in my darkened house, I couldn't sleep, I had paced miles of circles my house. I was hopelessly thinking in circles, too. Over and over I reconsidered what I had said; what she had said. What I did; what she did. What I would do next... or not.
I had been anxiously, compulsively recollecting the same miserable scenario for weeks, months, many months. I was trapped, and there was no way out. I was lonely, and I hated that my phone rarely rang. But I dreaded it every time it did; it seemed like the only news I got was bad news.
At this point, a new thought stopped me in my tracks. Someone might be able to help me, after all. Could it be? Could Someone hear me even as I am alone, with no one else around? My heart lept as my mind latched onto the thought, like grasping for a lifeline that was making its final pass--it might be my only chance.
"Help ME," I called out! This time I cried out loudly! I cried out with all my might, and my cry drew out into a long, weeping wail. I felt like a little child. I dropped my arms in defeat, and fell on my knees. I had come to my end. My cry for help came from the depths of my soul.
"I DON'T KNOW what to DO," I called out again loudly to what lay beyond the ceiling, to some God in the sky. "I need to LEARN from this," I cried determinedly, "but I don't know WHAT TO DO! What do you want me to DO," I begged to know? "Please, HELP ME!"
Just to be clear, I had not given up on life. I had always believed that God had a purpose for me, but I had no vision for what that was. I had thought that he wanted me to have raise children in a family, and for a while I was doing okay doing just that, but recently everything had fallen apart. With a lifetime of academic and spiritual study behind me, and a successful business of my own, it seemed as if I should have had everything I needed to succeed. But now my marriage had failed. I was estranged from my young son whom I loved dearly. I had done everything right, according to the world, but still I failed. I had been sleepless for months, and I still had no idea what to do. I was miserable like I had never been before and there was no end in sight.
At first I tried studying my way out of my predicament. I read book after book, after book, after book. I studied relationships, communication, conflict resolution, family dynamics, personal effectiveness, positive thinking. But nothing I ever learned from the dozens of books I had studied could help me in my time of greatest need. And I didn't know any person who could help me, either. I consulted with everyone I thought might have some wisdom. I consulted with counselors, lawyers, relatives, healers, shamans, musicians, travelers, everyone. But no one could help.
Having come to the end of my rope, and having cried out to the Universe for help, brought a kind of peace to me. At least now I had done all I could do in my own strength. It was out of my hands. If God wanted to save me, he would have to do it Himself. Thankfully, I didn't have to wait long.
"Hello?" The phone had rung while I was sitting in the courtroom, apparently putting the last nail in the coffin of my hopes for a family. I hurried outside to take the call. It was a man from the Twelve Tribes. I had met them at a music festival and stayed in touch with them over the last few years. This call was unusual, though, because the community was 600 miles away. It turned out that this man and another brother from the Twelve Tribes were "walking" in my area, and wondered if I'd like a visit. I did. I explained the situation and invited them over the next day.
I met these two men in my house the next day, in the very room where I had cried out to God. Their visit came as a breath of fresh air. I had been patient to wait, and finally I had some answers. The brothers explained that our Creator, God, has a purpose for men on this earth, and he is calling to him a people that are willing to do his will. For those who are, the response God is looking for is to put everything they value most in their lives "upon the altar" of sacrifice, like the Biblical patriarch did with his beloved son Isaac. When we give up our lives in the world, God can start arranging all things to work for the good of those who love him.
Somehow I knew that this was the truth. I knew that our Father had a part in letting me come to the end of my strength in the world and that he was calling me to do his will. I wanted to do his will anyway, but having lost my family, I knew for real that I had nothing left to interest me in the world.
The brothers invited me to come to their community. I gratefully accepted the invitation. Would it be as I hoped? It was! The people were the most loving people I had ever met. They greeted me warmly; they met my every need. They invited me into their family. It was just what I needed, a whole life! Now their family is my family. I have found my created purpose.
Finally I am getting an education worth having, no longer the education of a fool who could learn and learn and never understand. But rather I am receiving the education of what it means to be a "Son of the living God." I am learning how to have wisdom, by asking our Creator for it. And best of all, I am learning how to really love. To love is to lay down one's life for his friends. That is what I do now, all day, every day. And it is the fullest and most satisfying life you could possibly imagine.
Rarely when the truth comes to a person, is it found in a sign that drops down from Heaven, saying "THIS IS THE WAY." No. The truth will be spoken directly to you from someone's heart to your heart. A sent one will tell you the truth. The Creator of the universe speaks through His people who have received the truth themselves. They live in harmony with one another as those who speak the truth in love.
In our Age, the fullest expression of the truth was spoken by our Master, the Son of God, the man called Yahshua. His name means "mighty and powerful to save." And he is just that. He was born on this earth to save all of mankind from the spirit of deception which has kept mankind imprisoned and in confusion for thousands of years. Yahshua began the work of salvation two thousand years ago. As a fully innocent man, Yahshua willingly went into death, a place of torment, to pay the penalty for every crime ever committed on earth. Yahshua did what no man had ever done before. Because he had no sin, no guilt, himself, death could not hold him. He rose from death and imparts His life-giving spirit to those who obey him.
Because all men have fallen short of doing the good they know they should do, they carry the weight of guilt that ushers them towards loneliness and death. All men remain under this guilt until they are forgiven for every selfish and hurtful thing they ever said and did. Here is truth: a man can only be forgiven by someone who is forgiven himself, who is clean from all hurtful and selfish deeds himself. Yahshua is our redeemer.
There is an authority that is above any authority in this world. That is the authority of Yahshua the Savior, the Messiah. His authority comes directly from the Creator of all men, the God of Heaven and earth. A man may be fully forgiven from all his failures by giving his life to the Son of God and being washed clean by His forgiveness.
At this time, you can meet Yahshua through His people who do His will. They are the functioning Body of Messiah. They live on earth, in communities around the world. We who write to you are from these communities. We speak on His behalf, and we call you to leave this world behind. Even before you were born, God chose you to be part of His holy people who will one day fulfill the purpose of Man, to rule over all fallen spirits and then nurture creation throughout the universe, causing all things to bear only good fruit.
That purpose has not been realized yet. God, our Father, is still gathering His people from among the nations of this world. As we are rescued, we make the decision to receive forgiveness though our Master's sacrifice, and devote our lives to serving Him. We are set free from serving the evil spirits which had held us in bondage our whole lives. We are not perfect, but we are learning what it is to truly love. Come and see.